I spent a bit of time this morning clearing out my comments box. Sadly, most of it was spam. Truth be told, one of the things that I’d never expected when I first conceived of this blog was the sheer amount of spam comments that would come my way.
In the grand tradition of my friend Bravewolf (who responds hilariously to spambots in chat scenarios) I will now respond to selected quotes from spammers. I refuse to name the guilty for fear of giving them free publicity.
1. “Hello, how ” I MUST CLICK ON THE LINK NOW!! THE SENTENCE! I NEED TO KNOW HOW IT ENDS!!!!
2. “I love your wordpress design, wherever would you get a hold of it from?” Whilst hiking in the Himalayas during a period of time to which I like to refer as my Lost Year, I was adopted by a group of Tibetan monks who took me in and had me take charge of their alpaca stable. One stormy night, I helped Snuffles, the most prized of all the monks’ alpacas, give birth to adorable alpaca octuplets. In gratitude, the eldest of the monks gave me this WordPress design (which is buggy and shows the wrong headline on the homepage, but I didn’t want to offend him, so there you have it).
3. “Hey there, I had been only going through the world wide web looking for some information along with came across your blog post. I am in awe of the info that you have on this blog. This exhibits just how you understand this particular topic. Book marked these pages, will come back for more. Constitutional Law “ It is generally accepted that I am the world renowned authority on The Info That I Have On This Blog. I’m glad you bookmarked my page – Constitutional Law can be a real bitch.
4. “Really liked what you had to say in your post, Day 9: That’s Me in the Corner | Creature of Habit, thanks for the good read!” Really liked how specific you were about my post! I will now click on your link because we clearly have a personal connection. Thanks for the good comment!
5. “When I originally commented I clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now every time a comment is added I get four emails with the exact same comment. Is there any way you could get rid of me from that service? Thanks! –“ I am so sorry that you -someone advertising cheap Ugg boots in your email address- has had to experience this inconvenience at my hands. Clearly I owe several Hail Marys and at least one Our Father.
6. “Your posting ralely straightened me out. Thanks!” Dude – straighten out and fly right. Also, learn to spell. You’re welcome.
7. “I will not talk about your competence, the article basically disgusting” I’m glad you’re not going to talk about my competence, because I think I managed to succeed at my goal of grossing you the hell out with my light prosaic style and whimsical accompanying pictures.
8. “Incredible story there. What happened after? Take care!” I DIED. You too!
9. “On the other hand, should this happen whenever you try to have intercourse,
then you should really speak to your health care professional.” You mean the squid isn’t SUPPOSED to go up my nose?
10. “That’s insane… You have got to see this blueprint revealing all secrets how to make $5.2 million in 5 years and how you too can start to make at least $11000 in the next 28 days…” From penniless drafter to wild fortune within the span of a menstrual cycle – architects really do have all the luck.
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